CATERINA, Milena Ziletti 
26.08.2009
CATHERINE
Hello everyone. My name is Catherine. I was born in 1900. Then there were many people who looked with fear at the end of the century just begun. They thought the end of the world: in 2000, which saw so far yet so near and nefarious. They did not know that the end of the world for every human being is different, because everyone learns at the end of their lives: each of us carries his own end of the world.
When I was born there was great celebration in the family, because Mom Rosa, before me, had lost two children and her father Louis and all the relatives saw me as a miracle. At that time
mother Rosa was already old for the first child, his 26 years of marriage after 5, is completed with my birth. The happiness was short lived because they soon discovered what I was fragile and delicate health, I had trouble rspirare and a simple cold was enough to aggravate my health. Mamma Rosa is not demolished by these problems and confront them with all the remedies known in those days. A
Peter was born two years later, my little brother who, unlike me, bursting with health from every pore. While I grew up surrounded by every care, just as Peter did, and within a few years seemed to him the greatest of us. I ate little, but he could not get enough.
In five years, Peter moved the couch, which until then had stayed with me in the same room. This gave me a bit 'of pain and I felt more alone, but he could not stay in that room always full of vapor so intense that helped me to breathe.
six years that I was sick for the first time very seriously. I remember being at the window and looked at Peter, who was playing with other children. It was a beautiful late summer day and the weather was wonderful. His mother had taught me that I could not run as they did other children, because I was sweating, and a fatal blow air could myself. That afternoon I was clinging to the glass of the window and looked out of those kids in shorts that run and jump like foals and I realized that my mother looked at me strangely. He understood what I was missing the outdoor life and contact with other children. He decided that if I did not go out and over the yard. He put his socks, the hat and made me sit in a shady place.
how beautiful breathe that air cleaner, hear the cries of children playing, the singing of birds and other animals. I got lost in that mix of sounds and smells so much that I hardly breathe weighed. It was a beautiful day that. Peter and the other children were playing near me and my head was spinning so was the joy of that moment. At dinner that evening, I ate everything I had into the pot, it seemed to be another girl.
Then at night I started to cough. My mother heard me and ran on me. I always wondered how he knew well or if I had some problems breathing, shortness of breath because the first was right next to me. I had a fever, difficulty breathing and coughing. I remember that I vomited everything I ate for dinner. Mamma Rosa boiled water, and those infused its way into my gasping in breaths. Then I rubbed ointment on his chest with that strange that pinch my nose and eyes, I covered her with another blanket and then took a chair, sat next to my bed and held my hand in his. I felt that he prayed and relied on S. Catherine and I heard whispering "S. Catherine helps my child. " How many prayers and invocations to St. Catherine I heard during my short life. I was in that condition for two weeks. My mother never left my hand, thought to forward to me a bit 'of his life and was afraid that if he had taken, the flow could be interrupted. Meanwhile, Peter's father Luigi was thinking, I washed, gave him food, in short, trying to continue the life that they all possessed. Every now and then went into my bedroom, looked at me with tenderness e guardava sua moglie che soffriva per la sua bambina. Allora appoggiava una mano sulla sua spalla e le baciava i capelli e si sentivano uniti più che mai nel dolore. Anche Pietro veniva a trovarmi e faceva ogni sforzo per rimanere seduto un po’ con me. Ricordo i suoi occhi così grandi che mi guardavano in quel letto, e non ho mai capito cosa vedesse in me realmente.
Venne anche il dottore che mi picchiettava sulla schiena, mi premeva la pancia, mi guardava in gola e poi usciva a parlare con la mamma.
Non so se fu un miracolo o le cure costanti della mamma, ma un po’ alla volta mi ripresi e tornai come prima.
Certo dovevo rimanere in casa e la mamma escogitava ogni gioco, canto, lavoretto pur di non farmi pesare la situazione. Cominciò also taught me to read and write, and I liked a lot more than draw or paint.
The months and years dragged on without too many ups and downs. Peter grew strong as a bull, so Dad used to say, while I was growing more and more little and breathed with difficulty.
Every day on my plate were the food tastier, more nutritious food that I tasted only. Were not wasted however, because Peter was always willing to finish them.
I am also amazed his behavior: out of home, with his companions, was a typical tomboy, but at home, walking almost on tiptoe, not screaming and treated me as if I could break into his hands. Now I know it was a sensitive child che mi amava e aveva accettato la situazione.
La finestra era diventata il mio occhio sul mondo e guardavo lo svolgersi delle stagioni. In primavera Pietro mi portava il primo fiore che vedeva sbocciare, poi il primo gambo di grano mautro e la foglia ingiallita staccata dalla quercia, ed in inverno entrava in casa di corsa con un ghiacciolo per farmi toccare quanto fosse freddo.
Quegli anni furono una pena per tutti, anche se tutti facevamo finta di niente, ma non era quella la vita vera, per nessuno di noi.
Avevo dodici anni quando mi ammalai molto seriamente, ed io capii subito che non era come le altre volte: questa volta era diverso.
Fui nel mio lettino e di nuovo quei forti odori pungenti mi ricordavano come era stato sei anni prima: si repeating everything the same way, but I was much more difficult to breathe.
vapors, poultices on the chest, the prayers and invocations to St. Catherine, everything seemed to be useless.
Mother, next to my bed, holding my hand in his. How many days had passed? I had lost track of time. Every now and then felt a voice, a sound, a noise but does not make out, the only constant was my mother's hand that held mine.
At one point, my breathing seemed to stop and my mother even more squeezed my hand, seemed to say "do not leave, not yet, still have a little 'me." And I did everything to please her, but when it cost me pain! And some were "Them". Many children were watching me, I aspettvano. They were near a road so that light could blind me. They were waiting for me, and I was ready to go with them, they were so beautiful and serene. Do not say anything, they were there, when I was ready for them. I do not know which was the passage of time, if it had been minutes, hours or days, for me did not matter. Each time you add more children, and seeing that late, sat on the edge of the street light waiting patiently. On one side stood their
that I send every good feeling, the other was the mother who did not want to leave me, and I was torn, I did not know what to do.
Intanto, ogni respiro che facevo era un dolore immenso, ma la mamma, la mia dolce mamma, mi voleva ancora con sé. Io volevo andare con quei bambini che mi aspettavano ma non volevo dare un dolore così grande alla mia mamma. Così tenevo duro, e con quel grande dolore nel petto cercavo un respiro dietro l’altro. Vedevo le sue lacrime, sentivo il suo dolore che era ncora più grande del mio perché l’aveva nel suo cuore e ce la mettevo tutta per resistere: solo per lei.
“Mamma, perché non mi lasci andare? Perché mi fai soffrire così?” Non so se lo pensai soltanto, ma lei lo capì. Capì che il suo amore doveva essere quello più grande, capì che era giunta la mia ora ma non ci riusciva a lasciare quella mia mano sempre più fredda.
“Amore mio, ovunque andrai, non sarai mai lontana da me.” Questo mi disse e mi lasciò la mano.
I bambini, che fino ad allora erano rimasti seduti in paziente attesa si alzarono, sorrisero e mi tesero le loro mani. Non sapevo da chi andare: erano tutti così belli e tranquilli, ma non ci fu bisogno di scegliere. Venni circondata da tutti loro ed inseme ci incamminammo per quella strada così luminosa. Mi resi conto con sorpresa che non sentivo più dolore, che ero felice, che potevo correre, saltare, cantare e toccare tutti quei bambini: finalmente stavo bene ed ero felice.
Mi voltai indietro e vidi la mamma distrutta dal dolore, papà impietrito e with shining eyes, but Peter was smiling, he had understood. From that day
mother Rosa dressed in black and did not change color, and lived the rest of his life with the remorse that he removed his hand from mine, but had failed to understand that the gesture was the greatest proof ' his ill-fated love for that child.
Care mothers and parents all loved ones, losing a child, especially child is a pain that has no equal, but from here, we are all happy and we always give ourselves a bit 'of us, our experience serenity, but only if also you continue the life that remains on the ground without pain but with joy. Know that the love you gave us in our little life is servito a portarci qui. Adesso tocca a noi fare qualcosa per voi: amate, amate, amate.
A presto, mamme e papà di tutti noi.
Caterina
